he looks over here

He looks over here
and we both look away
its been six months now,
but here things still stay

i'm over right here
and he's over right there
we know we need to meet
yet we have no clue where

we both back away
when a chance comes our way
scared of changing
our pattern of day to day

we're both scared of the new
comfortable with the old
scared to take the plunge
and do something bold

held back by ourself
pushed forward by the rest
confused about the future
and what to do next

Oh No!!!

okay- one of the main reasons that i haven't updated in a while: MY JOURNAL IS GONE! LIKE- "POOF!", NO MORE JOURNAL!!!!!!!!
obviously, i'm a bit upset about this. that journal not only had all my writing that i was working on, it also had some information not meant for some people to know and i am SCREWED if one of those people has found it...
sorry, i'm ranting, aren't i?
anyway, i'm sorry that i haven't updated.i'll try to get on here more often.
-Sarah

Holy cow!

man, i haven't updated in so long!!!i'm sorry people!

I'll Fly Away

this was my Gram's favorite hymn-i heard it the other day on KLOVE and it amazed me how much i remembered. i hadn't heard it sung in such a long time...but it was amazing. now, she has indeed flown away to her rightful home on God's celestial shores
here are the lyrics:

I'll fly Away
Some Glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away:
To a home on God's celestial shores
I'll fly away

I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away;
When I die hallelujah
by and byI'll Fly away.

When the shadows of this life has goneI'll fly awayLike a bird from prison bars has flownI'll fly away.
I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away;
When I die hallelujah
by and byI'll Fly away.
Just a few more weary days and then,I'll fly away
To a land where joy shall never end.
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away;
When I die hallelujah
by and by
I'll Fly away.

Moon Tide

i think about the tide
and it's failing efforts to control us
i think about how though the tide is strong,
there is something so much stronger.
and i think it has to do
with that pale silver shine
that reflects on our dark waters-

i think it must have something to do
with that round glowing shape
that penetrates our watery darkness

with it's ever changing wake
but i must say that

despite the moon
and the mystery it provides
we can only go on rising
and falling with the tide

because how can a moon
that is so far away
have any impact on us
these small unimportant waves?

the dream

I slide into my seat
at the back of the room
hoping no one sensed my presence
hoping no one can tell i'm in the school
no such luck
as the teacher calls on me
i quickly answer the question,
then go back to my day dream
the dream where i'm with my friends
the dream where i get to be me
the dream where i get to laugh and play
the dream where people finally can see
that i'm not just a quiet girl
that sits in the back of rooms
that i'm not just the quiet girl
who is always left out, the one outside of you
the one always forgotten, the one you can be oblivious to.
because in the dream,
people see me for me
and i can act like me
and not get criticized
for acting like i believe-
for being the one He wants me to be...
the one that is me.

because when i'm outside the dream,
it all seems so hard.
it seems like i speak and i'm not heard
like i speak
but might as well have not spoken at all.
but then i return to the dream,
for the second time of the week
and i'm swept away again
in all that i believe.

Sunrise

i gaze to the west
as the golden orb
sinks below the horizon
taking with it the promise of light and guidance
now i'm left with nothing
but the hint of warmth along th land
but i know that light is an empty promise-
so now i am alone.
alone with the lonely moon
and the crowded stars.
the pale moonlight does nothing-
all it does is accentuate the sinister shadows
but it is something
and all that i have
i wait in eager anticipation
for the light i know is coming
the light that brings the promise
because although this night is long,
i know that while
sorrow lasts for the night,
the joy comes in the morning.

One toe at a time

i dip my toes in the water
and remember the last time this happened
last time, i didn't dip my toes in first-
i dived right in
big mistake, i know
the current swept me away
until i was under
and sinking fast
i was pulled down
down
down
down until my senses were frozen,
down until i was immobile, with no strength left
yet at that moment,
my toes skimmed the bottom
of the seemingly bottomless pool
and with invisible strength,
i pushed off
the tide had weakened, thinking i was done
well i wasn't
and now i'm here again
here to show that i can do it right-
one toe at a time